For the past few weeks I have been struggling with how and when to post the news that I’m pregnant. It’s actually been holding me back from just regular blogging, which I hate. But when you haven’t had normal pregnancies in the past and have suffered extreme loss, it’s kinda hard to be super excited to share news of something that has caused you so much pain in the past. Even though I have been working towards this for years, and I was totally ready for pregnancy, it has still been hard to announce it to the world…even on my own blog! But here I am saying that I’m 8 and a half weeks pregnant. I’m pregnant! I still have to remind myself of it. I’m pregnant and it seems to be healthy so far. It’s foreign. I want more than anything for this time to be different, for this baby to make it, and for this baby to be healthy. I’ve done the research. I’ve taken the tests. I’ve eaten the things that help prepare a body for this and it’s finally here. A new chapter begins.
We had been planning to “get pregnant” by Christmas this year so that we could announce it in fun ways with Christmas cards and such (which we still plan on doing some of it) but we were a little early. After our Europe trip I really wanted to take a month and detox from all the food I thought was bad in Europe. I feel like all we ate was flour: pastries, pasta, bread, and more pastries. But it turns out that babies love bread because we got pregnant in Europe! We weren’t even trying at that point, but weren’t being very careful either (it’s vacation!). It was a surprise, which is funny when you’re trying to stick to a timeline. I had a feeling it would happen when I least expect it because I had been starting to plan it a little too much. I’m grateful that God has decided to give us a child, even though I feel like I hadn’t “earned” it yet in the sense that I just really didn’t feel like I was prepared enough or healthy enough. But He did, and I just keep praying that he will keep him or her healthy.
Fun Pregnancy Symptoms:
Though I have been through pregnancy symptoms before, I feel like every time is different so here are the things I’m feeling now.
Throat Lump-I’m not quite sure why I have this but it feels like there is just a bunch of gunk in my throat constantly, like when you have a sinus cold or something but as I look into it I think it’s acid reflux. A lot of burping going on too. I know, very lady-like.
Nausea-It comes in waves all day for me. I read an interesting study about how morning sickness is a misnomer because really, it can come at any time of the day and it’s not a sickness but a protective mechanism for the developing fetus. Apparently, the more toxins in your body, the more “morning sickness” you’ll have because 1. Your immune system is suppressed when you’re pregnant (so your body won’t reject the baby) and therefore makes you more susceptible to food-borne illness and 2. A growing fetus is extremely sensitive to toxins that grown adults aren’t so your body will either expel foods that contain them or you’ll have nausea towards certain foods that could contain toxins or pathogens that would detriment a fetus. It’s all very interesting. For me, it has just been nausea and I am thankful. Though, I do kind of wish I could throw-up if it would make me feel better. I’m betting it wouldn’t though.
Aversion to scents (and sweets)– I pretty much hate every smell except for lemon. This is actually quite funny if you think about it because it goes all the way down to my lip balm! I had to stow all my sweetly flavored chap sticks away until I can tolerate them again and just stick to unscented chap stick for now. One morning, I even put bacon grease on my lips… I’m not even joking. Anything that smells sweet, it seems, I don’t like.
Emotional-Though this is not as intense as I thought it would be, I do find myself crying almost every day. Mainly because I don’t feel well but I want to so that I can enjoy the pregnancy, but then I feel guilty because I’m not enjoying it (making me feel ungrateful) but how can I when I feel awful every day?? It’s a dilemma. I’m just thankful that my husband is patient.
Has anyone had these weird symptoms, and how did you deal??